Off. Way Off.

There is being off plan, and then there is eating every mince pie in sight. This week, I am unfortunately the latter. I think it must be star week approaching, because I have eaten everything I can get my hands on with complete disregard for whether or not it was on plan.


This is appalling. I am stringer than this. Food does not control me. I fully intend to get right back on plan as of tomorrow (I have already ruined it for today). I am still giving myself Christmas Day off, but other than that I will be fully in SW mode.


Today is the last day at work before Christmas. I still don't have all my gifts purchased/ picked up. That makes me stressed. I think that I will take lifestyle hour today and ensure that I can get it all done. Dad also commented that we haven't found time this year to do our annual shopping trip for Mum's present. This is largely due to the fact that he ordered her present online this year, but I have asked if he would like to go for a hot chocolate in the village with us kids instead and that seems to have perked him up. With my Sister getting engaged and having moved out, I have a feeling he is feeling like our family traditions are waning.

Food Diary

I was amazed to have lost 3lb last week. I certainly did not deserve to. I have been skipping meals and binging. I pretty much ate my body weight in tapas and I have had cocktail sausages and miniature yule logs. I had pretty much given up on the diet this week. I cheekily weighed myself on my friend's scales before going to group last night, and those scales said that I had put on 1/2lb so I was prepared for the worst. They could have knocked me down with a feather when they told me I had lost 3lb- I could swear there must be something wrong with their scales.

Having said that, I think I dodged a bullet this week. I therefore intend to get back into doing my food diary this week. No more guessing syns. No more having 2 healthy B's and pretending I have been good. No more skipping meals. Sticking to plan. I am 3lb off my 2 stone award and I would be thrilled to get there before Christmas. I'm going for it! Next weigh in is on Christmas Eve, so I do need to be careful. I need to make sure that I am being good.

Several people have warned me not to go 'too low'. Not to 'lose too much weight'. I have no idea why they are saying this. Do they realise that I have lost 25lb but I still have 54lb to lose to get to target? Then I need to decide if I am happy at that weight! Silly people. I am a very long way off being the size I should be. I wouldn't suit being skin and bone, but why should I not suit being slim, trim and healthy? Why should I not be allowed to shop where everyone else does? Why should I have to feel like a blimp on my sister's wedding day? The answer: I shouldn't have to. I can be whoever I want to be and I have chosen to be slim.

Date

I went on a date last night. I have to say, it felt really nice to be dressed nicely and to feel fairly confident. It made such a difference. I wore a dress, heels and very sheer tights with a seam up the back. I know it's only a stone and a half, but when I notice things like that it makes me really happy. I felt confident walking into the bar and that's all I want. To like myself enough to allow others to like me too.


This morning, I was feeling so confident that I tried on an office dress which I purchased when I was about 19 years old. It has never been worn as I put on too much weight pretty soon after buying it and it has just been hung in my wardrobe looking sad and reminding me that I am a failure. It fits. And it looks fantastic. I am utterly thrilled and am wearing it to work.


'tis the season of joy and I am brimming with it. I wish I could spread some to my friends who all seem to be going through a tough time at the moment.

Club 10

Well after a week of being naughty, eating far too many crepe susettes and doing no exercise, I was expecting to have gained 2lb this week. No such nonsense.

I lost 1lb and got my club 10! This means that I have lost 10% of my body weight. This has amazing health benefits, particularly if I can keep it off or lose even more over the next 10 weeks, which I have no doubt that I will do. I will then get a free week if I manage it.

I have attached a photo of my club 10 certificate, and all the stickers on the back of my book. It is such an amazing feeling. Now to work towards my next interim target!

Swimming Costume

Day 2 of our holiday.

Today I wore a swimming costume. it felt different. I usually have a bridge of material under my tummy, so that my costume doesn't actually touch my skin there. Today, my costume was fitted to me including there. It was very odd.

Hope that I have managed to get a bit of a tan today. After a day at the beach followed by a jacuzzi/ hot tub overlooking the sea; I'm now drying off by the pool. Will check my tan after  a shower. My friend is super bronze already.

Such luxury here. Loving it. So relaxed.

Sunshine

Well here I am in Lanzarote. One and a half stone lighter. I'm currently sat by the pool in a bikini and although I don't yet have a bikini body I am not hiding away.

Trying to make sensible meal choices and drinking plenty of water.